The worst part about having both asthma and anxiety is that sometimes it can be hard to tell which one is currently giving me trouble. Whenever my anxiety starts getting the better of me I start to unconsciously hyperventilate (according to a cardiologist that I saw anyway), and asthma is caused by the bronchi of the lungs constricting and producing extra mucus, so sometimes it can be kinda hard to tell them apart. Then whenever I do have trouble telling them apart that makes my anxiety even worse and therefore makes breathing feel even more difficult…Fun times.
The only reason I bring this up is because that’s currently what’s going on in my world and I’m trying to be more open about that kind of thing. I don’t talk a lot about my anxiety issues because they aren’t fun and they make me feel…I don’t know, I guess I’m going to say weak for lack of a better term (I’m sure there are better terms, but right now weak is the only work that my brain is providing me haha). But anxiety kinda runs in my family; my grandma, mom, both of my sisters, myself, and maybe even a few of my cousins all have it in some way, shape, or form. And since there’s a whole movement going on in the world about being more open about mental illnesses I feel like maybe I should hop onto that bandwagon. At the very least, talking more openly about it will probably make me feel better. At least I hope so. 🙂
Anyways, I feel like that situation may have been the reason why this morning’s run felt super difficult. And oh man did it suck! I felt tired and heavy, basically it felt like I was running through cold molasses. And I feel like I really shouldn’t have felt that way. I went to bed around 8 pm last night because I wanted to get a little bit of extra sleep even though I had planned (and did! 🙂 get up at 5 this morning so it made sense to go to be early. I woke up feeling pretty good in general and my legs felt rested and ready to run, so it did’t make much sense for me to feel so shitty during my run. But I did feel like breathing was a bit more difficult than it should have been and that might be the biggest contributing factor to this run’s shitty-ness haha.
So I did two miles, threw myself a pity party on my porch because I quickly realized this run was not going well, ran 3 more miles, then called it quits. The plan was to go 8 miles, so I was a tad bit disappointed that I only made it 5, but I fought very hard to make those 5 miles happen and I’m proud of myself for making it that far because I seriously wanted to quite the second I started running this morning. Plus I made a promise to myself to run 2-3 more mile in the evening so at the very least I would end up making it close to 7 or 8 miles for the day.
After my run and shower I decided that my problem was anxiety and not asthma, so I just kinda hung out and relaxed for a while. I ate second breakfast, worked on some blog posts, pursued Pintrest, and made a wishlist on goneforarun.com because I have no life apparently haha. But I mean, I always get those visa gift card things for my birthday/Christmas and I always end up using them to buy stuff online, so now this year I’m going to be super prepared haha!! Seriously though, they have a lot of neat stuff and I want ALL OF THE HALLOWEEN AND CHRISTMAS THEMED STUFF! And I guess if you wanted to see what all I’m into on goneforarun.com you can check that out here. 😉
Around noon I decided that I had spent waaaay too much time on the internet so I cleaned up around the house, did a lot of reading (I’m currently re-re-re-re-reading Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. It’s my all time favorite!), took Lily for a little walk, played with all three dogs, read some more, fed the dogs/cats, then got ready to do my second run of the day!
Like I mentioned earlier, I had promised myself 2-3 more miles this evening, but I was feeling pretty darn good so I set out with the intention to do 3. Mission accomplished!!
So I started my day with a run at sunrise and ended my day with a run at sunset. How freaking cool is that! Plus I totaled 8 miles today which was my goal for my run this morning, but hey, at least I got them all in!
So the first 2 miles of this run were fantastic! I felt sooo good! But going 2 miles tends to bring me back to my house like it did this evening, and I made the terrible decision to chug some Gatorade before finishing my last mile. Haha yeah, I ended up with some pretty awful stomach cramps and I had to do quite a bit of walking. Oh well, 3 miles is still 3 miles and I had fun getting them done. Even with the terrible stomach cramps.
I hope your Saturday was fantastic!